Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 25:4-5
If, ten years ago, someone had told me I’d be divorced twice, I would have told them they clearly were speaking to the wrong person. Divorce wasn’t even in my vocabulary… until it happened to me.
I’m not proud of the fact I have experienced divorce twice. As a matter of fact, shame has a way of creeping in when I least expect it. The key verse for today has become particularly meaningful to me. I pray for God to show me His ways and guide me in His truth. My hope is not in my circumstances, but in God who is good and faithful. While I continue to work through my own issues, I can honestly say that in the process, I have learned much about myself and also about what God has to say about divorce. And what I have discovered has surprised me.
Ingrained in our Christian culture is the notion that marriage is forever, regardless of its quality or the impact it has on the individual. So, too is the idea that divorce is a sin and anyone who divorces is a sinner. I have often felt judged by other believers who perhaps considered themselves superior for having “successful” marriages. I have been surprised by the curiosity of believing friends who wanted to know the details of the marriage and divorce, as if they were playing judge and needed to decide which side to choose.
A good marriage never ends in divorce. Wedding vows have already been broken before one partner chooses to separate. Perhaps ending a bad marriage is a sign of strength, a desire for healing and wholeness that overshadows the need to uphold the institution of marriage for the sake of the institution. Someone going through a divorce is hurting already, regardless of the circumstances. We don’t need to add insult to injury by creating blame and shame.
What I discovered, through studying the Scriptures on marriage and divorce, is that nowhere in the Bible does God say divorce is a sin. In fact, God uses the analogy of divorce in Jeremiah 3 in the context of Israel’s unfaithfulness to Him, saying He will write Israel a certificate of divorce. We know that God is holy and cannot sin Himself. Yet if a holy God can hypothetically divorce His people, how can divorce be sinful?
The Christian culture has a long-standing habit of taking verses out of context. One such verse is Malachi 2:16. Some translations of this verse say that God hates divorce. This idea has been extrapolated to mean that God hates all divorces and consequently God hates the divorcée and further, that divorce is a sin. When we put Malachi 2:16 into context, however, we see a totally different meaning. The Hebrew word for divorce in Malachi 2:16 means “putting away”. In Matthew 5:31-32 (see my last post), we see a culture where the men were putting away their wives without giving them a certificate of divorce. This practice was happening, too, about 400 years earlier as recorded by the prophet Malachi. The men in Malachi’s time were wondering why God didn’t accept their offerings and bless them. God, through Malachi, reminded them they had sent their wives away, mostly on a whim, without any financial support. God was not going to bless them for their hurtful behavior. In their culture, where women did not have the right to work, refusing to support their wives reduced the women to poverty or prostitution.
God is saying in Malachi that He hates it when husbands discard their wives and do not give them a written certificate of divorce and provide no financial support. In that culture, without this certificate, a divorced woman could not legally marry again and become financially supported by a new husband. God is saying this practice is wrong. Malachi 2:16 is not a blanket statement against all divorce, but rather deals with a very specific and prevalent practice in Biblical-era culture.
Throughout Scripture, we see a God who loves His people, who particularly helps those who are oppressed and hopeless. In the New Testament, we see Jesus loving the unlovable, helping the helpless, and healing the hurting. I’ve come to realize that God does truly love those trapped in a bad marriage more than He loves the institution of marriage itself.
Again, there is no verse in the Bible that says divorce is a sin. There is, however, a verse that is very clear on what our attitude should be about divorce and other divisive, emotionally-charged topics. Matthew 7:1-2 says, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
I wonder what our world would look like and what an example Christians could be if we practiced this verse. What would happen if we humbly acknowledged that, except for God’s grace, anyone can experience divorce? How would our relationships improve if we fully grasped that divorce is not a sin, but rather the opportunity to journey to wholeness and healing? May we come alongside those experiencing divorce with love and support, rather than blame and shame. May we be Jesus’ hands and feet to a hurting world.
Lord, I thank You for the truth found in Your Word. Guide me in Your truth each day. Thank You for Your love and grace in the journey. Amen.
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Text and photograph copyright © 2018 by Dawn Dailey. All rights reserved. Photo of Broken Arrow Trail, Sedona, Arizona.
All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™
If, ten years ago, someone had told me I’d be divorced twice, I would have told them they clearly were speaking to the wrong person. Divorce wasn’t even in my vocabulary… until it happened to me.
I’m not proud of the fact I have experienced divorce twice. As a matter of fact, shame has a way of creeping in when I least expect it. The key verse for today has become particularly meaningful to me. I pray for God to show me His ways and guide me in His truth. My hope is not in my circumstances, but in God who is good and faithful. While I continue to work through my own issues, I can honestly say that in the process, I have learned much about myself and also about what God has to say about divorce. And what I have discovered has surprised me.
Ingrained in our Christian culture is the notion that marriage is forever, regardless of its quality or the impact it has on the individual. So, too is the idea that divorce is a sin and anyone who divorces is a sinner. I have often felt judged by other believers who perhaps considered themselves superior for having “successful” marriages. I have been surprised by the curiosity of believing friends who wanted to know the details of the marriage and divorce, as if they were playing judge and needed to decide which side to choose.
A good marriage never ends in divorce. Wedding vows have already been broken before one partner chooses to separate. Perhaps ending a bad marriage is a sign of strength, a desire for healing and wholeness that overshadows the need to uphold the institution of marriage for the sake of the institution. Someone going through a divorce is hurting already, regardless of the circumstances. We don’t need to add insult to injury by creating blame and shame.
What I discovered, through studying the Scriptures on marriage and divorce, is that nowhere in the Bible does God say divorce is a sin. In fact, God uses the analogy of divorce in Jeremiah 3 in the context of Israel’s unfaithfulness to Him, saying He will write Israel a certificate of divorce. We know that God is holy and cannot sin Himself. Yet if a holy God can hypothetically divorce His people, how can divorce be sinful?
The Christian culture has a long-standing habit of taking verses out of context. One such verse is Malachi 2:16. Some translations of this verse say that God hates divorce. This idea has been extrapolated to mean that God hates all divorces and consequently God hates the divorcée and further, that divorce is a sin. When we put Malachi 2:16 into context, however, we see a totally different meaning. The Hebrew word for divorce in Malachi 2:16 means “putting away”. In Matthew 5:31-32 (see my last post), we see a culture where the men were putting away their wives without giving them a certificate of divorce. This practice was happening, too, about 400 years earlier as recorded by the prophet Malachi. The men in Malachi’s time were wondering why God didn’t accept their offerings and bless them. God, through Malachi, reminded them they had sent their wives away, mostly on a whim, without any financial support. God was not going to bless them for their hurtful behavior. In their culture, where women did not have the right to work, refusing to support their wives reduced the women to poverty or prostitution.
God is saying in Malachi that He hates it when husbands discard their wives and do not give them a written certificate of divorce and provide no financial support. In that culture, without this certificate, a divorced woman could not legally marry again and become financially supported by a new husband. God is saying this practice is wrong. Malachi 2:16 is not a blanket statement against all divorce, but rather deals with a very specific and prevalent practice in Biblical-era culture.
Throughout Scripture, we see a God who loves His people, who particularly helps those who are oppressed and hopeless. In the New Testament, we see Jesus loving the unlovable, helping the helpless, and healing the hurting. I’ve come to realize that God does truly love those trapped in a bad marriage more than He loves the institution of marriage itself.
Again, there is no verse in the Bible that says divorce is a sin. There is, however, a verse that is very clear on what our attitude should be about divorce and other divisive, emotionally-charged topics. Matthew 7:1-2 says, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
I wonder what our world would look like and what an example Christians could be if we practiced this verse. What would happen if we humbly acknowledged that, except for God’s grace, anyone can experience divorce? How would our relationships improve if we fully grasped that divorce is not a sin, but rather the opportunity to journey to wholeness and healing? May we come alongside those experiencing divorce with love and support, rather than blame and shame. May we be Jesus’ hands and feet to a hurting world.
Lord, I thank You for the truth found in Your Word. Guide me in Your truth each day. Thank You for Your love and grace in the journey. Amen.
Want to subscribe to future posts? Click here.
Text and photograph copyright © 2018 by Dawn Dailey. All rights reserved. Photo of Broken Arrow Trail, Sedona, Arizona.
All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™
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