Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
The gorgeous tropical scenery at the edge of the ocean filled me with awe of God’s creation when I had glanced briefly through the window. But now, keeping my eyes on the road ahead and gripping the steering wheel tightly, I didn’t dare look down to my left, down the cliff to the sea. Up ahead, a sign stood sentinel to mark the beginning of a much narrower road. It said, “One lane next 1/8 mile.” Or so I thought. That 1/8 mile was in reality 8 miles as I white-knuckled my way around twists and curves in this gravel-laid, one-lane path that passed for a road on the shores of the northern Maui coast. My passengers had gone silent, each praying we’d find our way safely to our destination. Approaching cars forced me to pull over as far as the bank on the right side of the road allowed or obliged me to back up until I could find a wider place to pull over.
That trip was over a decade ago now, but the memory of the fear that gripped me that day is as vivid as if it happened yesterday. I had traveled to Hawaii with my sister-in-law and my two nieces with the primary purpose of distributing my brother’s ashes over an area of the world he adored. Here we were, on the last day of our week-long trip, and we had just finished our somber task. Taking the “scenic” route back turned out to be more than we bargained for as we silently crawled along this cliff-hugging road for eight long miles.
Sometimes life is like that. We’re on sure, stable pavement one minute and then the next, we find ourselves in the weeds and wonder how we got off track. If we Google Mapped our lives, how did we get from Point A to Point B? At every fork in the road, did we make the right decision? Or if you’re a perfectionist like me, did we make the perfect choice? And what about the signs along the way? Did we misread them or miss them altogether?
I wonder if the circuitous routes we take on this road called life is what God intends for us. When we earnestly seek His will, are we left feeling like we still messed up? Will we get to the end of the road and regret the path we took? Or can God make something beautiful even out of the missed turns and detours along the way? What if this twisting, winding road is actually His will for us?
While I may not have all the answers, God does because He is sovereign. He is not surprised or shocked by the detours along my journey. When I trust in His sovereignty, in His control, the pressure to make the perfect decision diminishes. When I realize that I am a beloved child of God and covered in God’s grace, I can relax in knowing that He can use whatever decisions I make to grow me into who He wants me to be.
Sometimes as Christians, we make the Christian life unnecessarily complicated. Jesus states in Matthew 22:37-40* that the most important commandments are to love God with our whole being and to love our neighbor as ourselves. The decision to love God and others is a decision that we must make over and over again at each fork in the road. These commands from Jesus give us a framework for our decision-making, a signpost to follow. Each time we have a choice to show kindness to others is a critical juncture on the road to loving our neighbor.
Loving our neighbor also implies that we love ourselves, as we cannot extend love to others until we first extend love to ourselves. Loving ourselves means letting go of regrets and wrapping ourselves in grace and compassion. When we are filled with God’s grace, love, and compassion, it will naturally spill over to others.
But in doing the hard work of loving ourselves, we must practice self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. When we realize that we are human and not perfect, we can forgive ourselves for any regretful decisions and past mistakes. We don’t have to live in some parallel universe of what life would have been like if only we had chosen differently. Forgiving ourselves and accepting the reality of our choices allows us to live fully and freely in the present moment. When we no longer allow the past to make our present choices, we are free from the prison of self-condemnation and free to love God, ourselves, and others well.
As today’s key verse implies, God’s will is not about doing the perfect path. It’s all about being joyful, prayerful, and thankful along the journey. It’s not about being thankful for the circumstances surrounding the path, but it’s being thankful for God’s steadfast presence in the midst of difficult circumstances. Despite whatever road we are on, when we are thankful for who God is and how He forgives and accepts us and when we soak in His presence through prayer, we find joy. And that joy is the key to forgiving and accepting ourselves and to loving God, ourselves, and others well.
Our journey will take us to places unknown to us, but not unknown to God. We may travel on busy freeways or we may find ourselves on a road less traveled. When we look into the rearview mirror and see God’s faithfulness to us in the past, we have the courage to face the present and the future. Even on a narrow path tracing the edge of a cliff, we know God is with us and we can trust Him to be with us around the next bend.
Dear Jesus, may I follow after You joyfully, prayerfully, and thankfully. May I love, accept, and forgive myself in Your mercy and grace. May I make the good choice everyday to love You with my entire being and to love my neighbor as myself. May I find true joy in Your faithful presence as I walk this oftentimes rocky path called life. Amen.
*Matthew 22:37-40 - Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
NOTE: Sometimes others’ choices impact us negatively. While this blog focuses on our own choices, know that if you have been victimized by abuse, the decision to abuse was not one you made. When we face our painful past, we can choose to remain a victim and allow someone else’s actions to influence our lives going forward or we can choose freedom. Regardless of the degree of past trauma in your life, Dr. Edith Eva Eger’s powerful book The Choice is an excellent resource on discovering self-forgiveness and self-acceptance and on choosing freedom from victimhood. As a clinical psychologist and Holocaust survivor, Dr. Eger shares lessons learned from her experiences in Auschwitz that has shaped her own healing and enabled her to make a significant difference in the lives of her patients.
Text and photograph copyright © 2021 by Dawn Dailey. All rights reserved. Photo of rocky beach on the northern coast of Maui, Hawaii (taken just before the harrowing drive described above).
Not a subscriber to the monthly blog posts? Click here to subscribe.
Did you know that the month of May is Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month? PBS airs specials all month featuring the stories, contributions, and influence of AAPI Americans. See also https://asianpacificheritage.gov/. Check out my web page on “Justice Matters” to find resources and to connect with organizations engaging in the cause of racial justice, including injustice against AAPI Americans. Click here to learn more.
All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™
The gorgeous tropical scenery at the edge of the ocean filled me with awe of God’s creation when I had glanced briefly through the window. But now, keeping my eyes on the road ahead and gripping the steering wheel tightly, I didn’t dare look down to my left, down the cliff to the sea. Up ahead, a sign stood sentinel to mark the beginning of a much narrower road. It said, “One lane next 1/8 mile.” Or so I thought. That 1/8 mile was in reality 8 miles as I white-knuckled my way around twists and curves in this gravel-laid, one-lane path that passed for a road on the shores of the northern Maui coast. My passengers had gone silent, each praying we’d find our way safely to our destination. Approaching cars forced me to pull over as far as the bank on the right side of the road allowed or obliged me to back up until I could find a wider place to pull over.
That trip was over a decade ago now, but the memory of the fear that gripped me that day is as vivid as if it happened yesterday. I had traveled to Hawaii with my sister-in-law and my two nieces with the primary purpose of distributing my brother’s ashes over an area of the world he adored. Here we were, on the last day of our week-long trip, and we had just finished our somber task. Taking the “scenic” route back turned out to be more than we bargained for as we silently crawled along this cliff-hugging road for eight long miles.
Sometimes life is like that. We’re on sure, stable pavement one minute and then the next, we find ourselves in the weeds and wonder how we got off track. If we Google Mapped our lives, how did we get from Point A to Point B? At every fork in the road, did we make the right decision? Or if you’re a perfectionist like me, did we make the perfect choice? And what about the signs along the way? Did we misread them or miss them altogether?
I wonder if the circuitous routes we take on this road called life is what God intends for us. When we earnestly seek His will, are we left feeling like we still messed up? Will we get to the end of the road and regret the path we took? Or can God make something beautiful even out of the missed turns and detours along the way? What if this twisting, winding road is actually His will for us?
While I may not have all the answers, God does because He is sovereign. He is not surprised or shocked by the detours along my journey. When I trust in His sovereignty, in His control, the pressure to make the perfect decision diminishes. When I realize that I am a beloved child of God and covered in God’s grace, I can relax in knowing that He can use whatever decisions I make to grow me into who He wants me to be.
Sometimes as Christians, we make the Christian life unnecessarily complicated. Jesus states in Matthew 22:37-40* that the most important commandments are to love God with our whole being and to love our neighbor as ourselves. The decision to love God and others is a decision that we must make over and over again at each fork in the road. These commands from Jesus give us a framework for our decision-making, a signpost to follow. Each time we have a choice to show kindness to others is a critical juncture on the road to loving our neighbor.
Loving our neighbor also implies that we love ourselves, as we cannot extend love to others until we first extend love to ourselves. Loving ourselves means letting go of regrets and wrapping ourselves in grace and compassion. When we are filled with God’s grace, love, and compassion, it will naturally spill over to others.
But in doing the hard work of loving ourselves, we must practice self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. When we realize that we are human and not perfect, we can forgive ourselves for any regretful decisions and past mistakes. We don’t have to live in some parallel universe of what life would have been like if only we had chosen differently. Forgiving ourselves and accepting the reality of our choices allows us to live fully and freely in the present moment. When we no longer allow the past to make our present choices, we are free from the prison of self-condemnation and free to love God, ourselves, and others well.
As today’s key verse implies, God’s will is not about doing the perfect path. It’s all about being joyful, prayerful, and thankful along the journey. It’s not about being thankful for the circumstances surrounding the path, but it’s being thankful for God’s steadfast presence in the midst of difficult circumstances. Despite whatever road we are on, when we are thankful for who God is and how He forgives and accepts us and when we soak in His presence through prayer, we find joy. And that joy is the key to forgiving and accepting ourselves and to loving God, ourselves, and others well.
Our journey will take us to places unknown to us, but not unknown to God. We may travel on busy freeways or we may find ourselves on a road less traveled. When we look into the rearview mirror and see God’s faithfulness to us in the past, we have the courage to face the present and the future. Even on a narrow path tracing the edge of a cliff, we know God is with us and we can trust Him to be with us around the next bend.
Dear Jesus, may I follow after You joyfully, prayerfully, and thankfully. May I love, accept, and forgive myself in Your mercy and grace. May I make the good choice everyday to love You with my entire being and to love my neighbor as myself. May I find true joy in Your faithful presence as I walk this oftentimes rocky path called life. Amen.
*Matthew 22:37-40 - Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
NOTE: Sometimes others’ choices impact us negatively. While this blog focuses on our own choices, know that if you have been victimized by abuse, the decision to abuse was not one you made. When we face our painful past, we can choose to remain a victim and allow someone else’s actions to influence our lives going forward or we can choose freedom. Regardless of the degree of past trauma in your life, Dr. Edith Eva Eger’s powerful book The Choice is an excellent resource on discovering self-forgiveness and self-acceptance and on choosing freedom from victimhood. As a clinical psychologist and Holocaust survivor, Dr. Eger shares lessons learned from her experiences in Auschwitz that has shaped her own healing and enabled her to make a significant difference in the lives of her patients.
Text and photograph copyright © 2021 by Dawn Dailey. All rights reserved. Photo of rocky beach on the northern coast of Maui, Hawaii (taken just before the harrowing drive described above).
Not a subscriber to the monthly blog posts? Click here to subscribe.
Did you know that the month of May is Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month? PBS airs specials all month featuring the stories, contributions, and influence of AAPI Americans. See also https://asianpacificheritage.gov/. Check out my web page on “Justice Matters” to find resources and to connect with organizations engaging in the cause of racial justice, including injustice against AAPI Americans. Click here to learn more.
All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™
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