The wise in heart are called discerning, and gracious words promote instruction. Proverbs 16:21
King Solomon was given the chance to ask for anything he wanted. He could have asked for riches, power, or fame. Instead, he asked for wisdom. God not only made Solomon a very wise king, sought after by other heads of state for his vast wealth of wisdom, He also gave Solomon wealth, honor, and a long life. (See 1 Kings 3:4-15) I have to believe that Solomon was just a wee bit wise in the first place to request wisdom above all else!
Using his God-given wisdom, Solomon ruled the nation of Israel, often acting as judge to solve disputes among his people. The story of two women who fought over a child they each claimed as their own comes to mind. Solomon commanded the child be cut in half and each half given to each woman. The real mother cried out to spare the child’s life and give the child to the other woman whom she knew was not the child’s mother. How wise of Solomon to judge rightly in that situation! As a result, the child was restored to its real mother. (See 1 Kings 3:16-28)
Discernment and judgment are often confused. Proverbs 16:21 says that those who are wise are also discerning. The dictionary defines “discerning” as “showing good or outstanding judgment and understanding”. While judgment is defined as the ability to make a wise decision, it also means the forming of an opinion or coming to a conclusion.
So while discernment and judgment are related, being discerning and judging can be two different actions with opposing consequences. The Bible says “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:1-2) It’s easy to fall into the trap of critical and judgmental thinking. When we set ourselves up as judge, humility goes out the window and we focus on what others are doing wrong, often feeling compelled to share our “judgy” thoughts in a hurtful way. Sometimes these thoughts surface from a bitter and unhappy soul in a pathetic attempt to gain happiness. Interestingly, often we judge others in areas where we feel inadequate and insecure. When we find ourselves spouting judgy and critical words, do we stop long enough to ask ourselves where these words are rooted in our hearts? Do we ask God, the Master Gardener, to rip out these poisonous roots and sow seeds of love and grace instead?
Sometimes it is good to judge – but not in a critical way. Again in Matthew 7, this time in verse 15, Jesus says “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.” Sometimes people aren’t always as they seem. While we are not called to judge them in a harsh and critical way, we are called to use discernment so we will not be taken in by folks who might not have our best interests at heart.
What’s the difference between judging and discerning? It’s not a coincidence that the second half of Proverbs 16:21 says “gracious words promote instruction.” If we are discerning correctly, without a judgmental and critical attitude, our words will be our proof. Speaking with grace with the hope of instruction (or not speaking at all!) shows we are discerning. If our words are critical and hurtful, then we’ve crossed the fine line into judgment. If we’re unsure how to stay on the side of discernment, like Solomon, we need to ask God for wisdom and He will give it to us (James 1:5).
There are consequences to both judging and discerning. We know from Matthew 7:1-2 that if we judge others, we ourselves will be judged. But if we are wise in our relationships, seeking out those who would encourage us rather than spending time with those who would hurt us, then that’s exercising discernment. Discernment is wisdom in practice. And King Solomon himself would find that desirable most of all.
Lord, give me a discerning heart and take away my propensity to criticize and judge. Like Solomon, I desire wisdom most of all. Grant me Your wisdom in all my relationships. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Want to subscribe to future posts? Click here.
Text and photograph copyright © 2017 by Dawn Dailey. All rights reserved. Photo of tulips from the garden of Abbotsford, home of Sir Walter Scott, Melrose, Scotland.
All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™
King Solomon was given the chance to ask for anything he wanted. He could have asked for riches, power, or fame. Instead, he asked for wisdom. God not only made Solomon a very wise king, sought after by other heads of state for his vast wealth of wisdom, He also gave Solomon wealth, honor, and a long life. (See 1 Kings 3:4-15) I have to believe that Solomon was just a wee bit wise in the first place to request wisdom above all else!
Using his God-given wisdom, Solomon ruled the nation of Israel, often acting as judge to solve disputes among his people. The story of two women who fought over a child they each claimed as their own comes to mind. Solomon commanded the child be cut in half and each half given to each woman. The real mother cried out to spare the child’s life and give the child to the other woman whom she knew was not the child’s mother. How wise of Solomon to judge rightly in that situation! As a result, the child was restored to its real mother. (See 1 Kings 3:16-28)
Discernment and judgment are often confused. Proverbs 16:21 says that those who are wise are also discerning. The dictionary defines “discerning” as “showing good or outstanding judgment and understanding”. While judgment is defined as the ability to make a wise decision, it also means the forming of an opinion or coming to a conclusion.
So while discernment and judgment are related, being discerning and judging can be two different actions with opposing consequences. The Bible says “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:1-2) It’s easy to fall into the trap of critical and judgmental thinking. When we set ourselves up as judge, humility goes out the window and we focus on what others are doing wrong, often feeling compelled to share our “judgy” thoughts in a hurtful way. Sometimes these thoughts surface from a bitter and unhappy soul in a pathetic attempt to gain happiness. Interestingly, often we judge others in areas where we feel inadequate and insecure. When we find ourselves spouting judgy and critical words, do we stop long enough to ask ourselves where these words are rooted in our hearts? Do we ask God, the Master Gardener, to rip out these poisonous roots and sow seeds of love and grace instead?
Sometimes it is good to judge – but not in a critical way. Again in Matthew 7, this time in verse 15, Jesus says “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.” Sometimes people aren’t always as they seem. While we are not called to judge them in a harsh and critical way, we are called to use discernment so we will not be taken in by folks who might not have our best interests at heart.
What’s the difference between judging and discerning? It’s not a coincidence that the second half of Proverbs 16:21 says “gracious words promote instruction.” If we are discerning correctly, without a judgmental and critical attitude, our words will be our proof. Speaking with grace with the hope of instruction (or not speaking at all!) shows we are discerning. If our words are critical and hurtful, then we’ve crossed the fine line into judgment. If we’re unsure how to stay on the side of discernment, like Solomon, we need to ask God for wisdom and He will give it to us (James 1:5).
There are consequences to both judging and discerning. We know from Matthew 7:1-2 that if we judge others, we ourselves will be judged. But if we are wise in our relationships, seeking out those who would encourage us rather than spending time with those who would hurt us, then that’s exercising discernment. Discernment is wisdom in practice. And King Solomon himself would find that desirable most of all.
Lord, give me a discerning heart and take away my propensity to criticize and judge. Like Solomon, I desire wisdom most of all. Grant me Your wisdom in all my relationships. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Want to subscribe to future posts? Click here.
Text and photograph copyright © 2017 by Dawn Dailey. All rights reserved. Photo of tulips from the garden of Abbotsford, home of Sir Walter Scott, Melrose, Scotland.
All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™
RSS Feed