So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David.  He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.  While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her first-born, a son.  She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.  Luke 2:4-7

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” Or at least that’s the words of the Christmas song I was hearing as it played on my laptop.  Something to get me in the mood for the holidays.  Christmas is the time we celebrate the birth of Jesus and spend time with family and friends.  But does it feel like the most wonderful time of the year to you?

The holidays can be a lonely and depressing time for many.  The well-wishes of “Merry Christmas” can strike sorrow in the hearts of those who grieve.  The contrast of the holiday celebrations and all the hype our culture attaches to it is stark against the sadness in the hearts of those who have lost someone they love.  They know they have to endure the holidays with an empty place at the table.

On the night of Jesus’ birth, Mary and Joseph arrived in Bethlehem after a long and tiring journey.  Plodding through the town, they looked for a place to stay for the night.  Imagine their frustration and sheer exhaustion as they trudged from house to house.  No one had a room for them.  No one seemed to care.  At last, they are offered a room…but in a dirty, smelly stable.  No private room here as they shared it with the innkeeper’s animals.  How tired and weary Mary must have been.

Are you tired and weary, too?  Are you dreading the holidays?  Are you going through the motions just to get to January?  You are not alone.  The holidays are difficult when one we love is not there.  We feel their absence most acutely when everyone else is celebrating.  The happiness of others accentuates our sorrow.

How do you get through this challenging time?  Acknowledge to yourself and even to those closest to you that the holidays are difficult for you.  Try to think ahead to the holiday gatherings and determine what will be most difficult.  What holiday traditions do you hold?  Which ones will be especially painful for you?  What change can you make that will bring you less pain?  For example, if everyone has assigned seats at the Christmas dinner table, then maybe you mix up the seating so you don’t have an empty place setting.  Or conversely, maybe you leave your loved one’s place setting there so they are not forgotten.  Do what works for you.

Every year at Christmas as we gathered at my parents’ house, Mom would hang up our stockings by the fireplace.  These were the stockings of our childhood, ones she had sewn for us.  After my brother passed away, Mom continued to hang up his stocking.  Although it remained empty, his stocking hanging from the mantle was a sweet reminder that he was still a part of our family.

Think about your Christmas traditions.  Tweak them if you need to.  Consider starting new ones.  Spend time with those who understand your grief.  Do what is comforting to you.  Acknowledge that the holidays are difficult but know you will get through them.  Know that the baby Jesus born that holy night grew up to suffer loneliness and sorrow, too.  He came down from heaven to a humble stable so that you might know Him.  Let Him comfort you this holiday season with His Presence and His Peace.  He loves you so.

Dear Jesus, thank You for coming from heaven to be born in a lowly stable that holy night.  Even though there was no room at the inn for You, You always have room for me.  Fill me with Your Presence.  Comfort me with Your Peace.  Amen.

 

 

 

Copyright © 2014 by Dawn Dailey.  All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®.  Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.  Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.   2 Corinthians 4:7-9

My brothers and I were throwing around a Nerf football.  Normally, this would be a good thing, but we were in the living room.  And Mom wasn’t home.  One wrong throw knocked over an antique teacup sitting on the top of the piano.  I’m not sure which one of us threw the calamitous lob, but we knew we were in big trouble for breaking that precious antique!

As teenagers, instead of confessing our sins, we thought we could fix the teacup so Mom would never know.  So I proceeded to glue the pieces back together.  Weeks later, my mother said to us, “Someone broke my teacup.”  Uh oh.  It’s been so long ago that I can’t remember if we confessed to our sins or not, but I do remember Mom was not very happy with us.  Suffice it to say, we never played Nerf football in the living room again!

Our lives are like that teacup.  When we experience loss, we become chipped and cracked.  Broken.  As we struggle towards healing, we may look mended on the outside, but if you look closely, you’ll see the telltale signs of brokenness.  And like teacups that have been mended, we’re more fragile than we once were.  Loss has a tendency to resurrect itself even when you think you’ve surely healed by now.  One curve ball thrown at us and we become unglued again.

Jesus puts our shattered lives back together as we look to Him for wholeness.  His all-surpassing power at work in our lives brings us hope and strength.  While our teacup selves will not be totally healed this side of heaven, we can be glued back together in ways that allow us to move forward.  Healing will come over time and with the grace, mercy, and peace that only our loving Savior can give.  Like the teacup, we’re repaired, but not ruined.  We’re still fragile, but not shattered.  We’re on the mend.  Usable teacups once more in the service of our King.

Dear Jesus, mend my brokenness as only You can.  Help me pick up the pieces of my life.  Restore me to a place of wholeness.  May the cracks and chips in my life remind me of Your great love for me as You walk with me on my journey of grief.  Walk with me still, Lord Jesus.  Use me as a vessel of healing in the lives of others who have experienced loss.  Thank you for your grace, mercy, and peace.  Amen.

 

 

Copyright © 2014 by Dawn Dailey.  All rights reserved.

All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”  Jeremiah 29:11-12

Thinking about the future often produces anxiety in us, even in the best of times.  After we’ve lost someone close to us, contemplating our future is downright scary.  What is the “new norm”?  How can we even think about next month or next year when we are struggling to put one foot in front of the other, just to get through today?

Does it feel like the world is passing you by?  After the memorial service for my brother Logan, I remember thinking, “Whew, I’m glad that’s over.”  But unfortunately, that was only the beginning.  Coming to terms with the fact that Logan was gone was beyond difficult.  Outside of our family and close friends, everyone else went on with their lives.  Life was back to normal for them.  How could I pick up where I had left off?  My brain couldn’t take in all that had happened.  I walked around in a fog, sometimes searching through the mist to a clearing of sorts; other times, allowing the fog to envelop me.  Sometimes I hoped I would wake up and this pain would have just been a nightmare and life would go on as it had before my brother passed away.

Unfortunately, this chapter of my life was here to stay.  Whether I liked it or not, these painful days would become part of me, part of the fabric of my life that God was weaving for good.  Through these difficult circumstances, God still has a plan for my life.  As His word says, God has a plan that is for my best, not to create more hurt but to give me hope and healing.  A future I can look forward to without fear or anxiety.  A future that is firmly in His grasp, His strong grip.  I don’t need to be afraid.

Amidst the foggy landscape in your head and heart, through all the brain-swirls of thoughts of fear and anxiety, pain and sorrow, do you trust God with your future?  Will you take life one day at a time, one step at a time, as you move toward that future God promises you?  A future of hope and healing?  Move into your future as you trust God to take care of you.  Step out bravely into the new world as you hold on tightly to Jesus’ hand.

Lord God, I know You hold my very future in Your strong hands.  I trust You to have my good at heart.  Help me to walk slowly, but surely, and bravely toward that new future of hope and healing as I cling tightly to Your hand.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 


 

Copyright © 2014 by Dawn Dailey.  All rights reserved.

All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.  “Where have you laid him?” he asked.  “Come and see, Lord”, they replied.  Jesus wept.  Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”  John 11:33-36


Losing a beloved sibling is heartbreaking.  We are overcome with grief.  The pain is overwhelming.  Sometimes we feel as if no one else truly understands the depth of our anguish.

Martha and Mary were sisters who lost their beloved brother Lazarus.  They were beside themselves with grief.  When Jesus arrived at Lazarus’ tomb, John 11:35 tells us that “Jesus wept.”  These two words comprise the shortest verse in the Bible, but perhaps they form one of the most impactful phrases.  Jesus wept openly at the tomb of His dear friend Lazarus.  He shared in the grief of Lazarus’ sisters, Martha and Mary.  He entered into their mourning.  Like Martha and Mary, He also loved Lazarus.  Did Jesus weep because of His own sadness at the passing of His friend?  Or did He weep because He knew how much Martha and Mary were hurting and their pain caused Jesus to cry?

God doesn’t just sit back and watch us go through painful circumstances.  He comes to us, enters into our heartache, and weeps with us.  He empathizes with us because He has experienced sorrow, too.  In the midst of our pain, God walks with us.  Lamentations 3:22-23 tells us “his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning.”  Know that Jesus understands your distress.  He weeps over you and has compassion on you.  Jesus travels with you on your journey of grief.  You are not alone.


Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you that You are compassionate and understand my sorrow.  Help me to reach out to You in my pain and to feel Your loving presence with me as I travel this path of grief.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.


Copyright © 2014 by Dawn Dailey.  All rights reserved.

All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.  I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.  Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:  Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  Lamentations 3:19-23

 

Is your soul downcast within you?  Does your grief consume you?  Losing a loved one does that to us, doesn’t it?  Grief is a dark cloud of gloom that seems to follow us everywhere.  It touches every corner of our souls.  It shows up in places where we don’t expect and always where we do.

Healing takes time.  So much time.  We absolutely have to be patient with ourselves and those around us.  In the meantime, we are the walking wounded, trying to cope with life as best we can, but with a gaping hole in our hearts where our loved one once was.  I know you may not believe this right now, but someday that wound will heal to the point that it will be a scar, always sensitive to touch, but not as painful as it is today.

Moving forward, pushing through our pain until we come out on the other side to a path of healing – this is what our loved one would want us to do.  Not wallowing in our loss, but pressing forward.

Does moving forward mean we don’t care about the one we lost?  If we show progress in our healing, do we need to feel guilty that we’re not grieving as much as we once were?  No, of course not.  Grief is the realization that our loved one is no longer here.  We feel the pain but we don’t need to wallow in it.  Grief doesn’t have to consume us.  Taking care of ourselves and starting on that road to healing is most important.  Are we leaving our loved one behind as we move toward hope and healing?  No, for we carry them in our hearts as we travel our path of loss to a new path of wellness.  Take with you those good memories of the one you lost as you begin your new journey of wholeness.

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You that Your compassion for me never fails.  Your mercies toward my hurting heart are new every morning.  Help me not to be consumed with my grief, but recognize that it is a tool to use to bring me to a place of hope and healing, of wellness and wholeness.  Give me patience with myself and others as I travel this difficult road.  I know healing takes time.  I thank You that You are the Great Healer of my heart and soul.  I trust in Your love and compassion to carry me to the other side of grief, to a place of healing.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

Copyright © 2014 by Dawn Dailey.  All rights reserved.

All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

 
May your unfailing love be my comfort.  Psalm 119:76

Shell-shocked.  Stunned.  Jolted.  All words to describe my thoughts, or perhaps lack of thoughts, when I first learned of my brother’s sudden death.  My mind could not accept the possibility, the probability, that what I had just heard was true.  I did not want to believe it.  I was more than just a bit dazed.

How was it possible that someone who was the picture of health one minute could be dead the next?  What had happened to my brother?  He was alive when his wife left for work that day.  What happened while she was gone?  How long had he lain on the floor before she found him?  Had he tried to call for help?  Why did he have to be alone?  How did he die?  And why?  I had so many questions.  And no answers.  I was more than just a bit confused.

If you’ve lost a loved one recently, you may be feeling shocked and disoriented.  You may be trying to wrap your head around the fact your loved one is gone.  You may have lots of questions and aren’t finding any answers.  All of these feelings are normal when you are grieving.  Know that ultimately the fog will clear and you will start down the path of healing.  It just takes time.

God understands your pain.  His heart breaks when your heart breaks.  Open your wounded and aching heart to His unfailing love for you.  He loves you so.

Dear God, my heart is broken right now with the news that my loved one is gone.  I’m feeling overwhelmed and perplexed.  I trust you, Lord, to ultimately heal my heart.  Guide me through the fog of uncertainty and lead me to a path of healing.  Comfort me with Your unfailing love.  Wrap Your loving arms around me and hold me tightly through this painful grief-storm.  In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.

 

 

Copyright © 2014 by Dawn Dailey.  All rights reserved.

All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™